Myron Lies; We Die

Myron promises to be in Montreal for the next round of the Kyoto protocol negotiations where he expects to be as unwelcome as a dogturd skidded across the red carpet. He'll be in good company, with The Committee for a Disastrous Tomorrow. Why do they do it? They money? The fame? The righteousness? They know there will be no rocketship to take their children away to a new life on Mars when conditions on this planet change to the extent not seen in 20 million years, and may even be approaching that which killed off the dinosaurs. Their progeny will suffer like everyone else's, and for what? A few extra oil soaked dollars in their bank account in 2005? It's sick. This whole evolutionary diversion of creating a species with a big enough brain to do science is a serious mistake. We have created governments which have institutionalized and promulgated lies. The lies are falsehoods designed to force us act in a way that is against our interests. Myron Ebell's job is to write such lies; and that's the job he does. Even if it is against his own interests to do it.

This idea that it is in his interest to lie for Exxon because they are paying him is baloney. He chose this job. He can quit it and get another one, also of his choosing. Maybe he should set up a small business and thrive on product that consumers actually want. After all, that's what he foments in this deregulated economy. It has never been so successful. The roll-backs of environmental legislation have been so massive that there should be easy pickings for guys who know where they're happening to grow their business in the fresh soil of new liberalization.

(For avoidance of doubt, the public does not want another deceitful, lying mouthpiece for Exxon. That's why the money and contracts which arrange for there to be one are laundered through the Crappetitive Enterprise Institute, for whom he says he is a "Spokesperson", while disengineously omitting WTF he is speaking for.)

Everything is lies. Said the cloth-eared Myron:

"Two years ago, I was in Milan and the environmentalists there announced that dangerous human interference in the climate system was a rise in temperature of two degrees centigrade, because at the time, many scientists were claiming it was unlikely there would be much more than 2 degrees change. Now you see hundreds of examples of scientists that it's around 2 degrees, and I know who made the decision, because I was there."

Really? He must have failed to hear Geof Jenkins's presentation (see picture) at said conference in Milan on the 11th December 2003 at one o'clock in the afternoon where a slide was presented showing that there was unlikely to be much less than 2 degrees of change.

I guess this means that Dr Jenkins and all of his friends were not among the "many scientists" Myron Ebell claimed to have heard. And if he heard what he claims to have heard, then the whole scientific establishment must all be flip-floppers.

But who are we to bother? Myron Ebell is paid to make up lies. Newspaper editors are paid to print them. And we all pay the price.

People, do not let this man or other operatives like him out of your sight. We may lose our planet and our habitat, but we will get our justice before he dies. Seriously, this promise has got to resonate in time from the future back to the present and give him sleepless nights. Myron is no robot. He is just cosmically stupid. He can stop himself at any time.

Strip Myroning

During the buildup to the negotiations for the renewal of Kyoto Treaty, Myron appears to have been demoted to mine industry duty. His job is to soften the public up to the new Bill rammed through Congress recently which allows corporations to buy public lands outright, for whatever purposes they please (making money now, not in the future).

In a dumb article yesterday Myron, the environmental analyst, was quoted:

"Earthjustice hates private property, and they hate mining. This will help the mining industry, and the mining industry is at very low levels now. It has virtually collapsed in many areas in the West. This could help revive it and create jobs out West."

The mining industry must also be helping to pay for Myron's children to go through college so they can succeed in an ecologically depleted world.

As usual, the name "Myron Ebell" is like a flashing neon arrow pointing towards a definite source of evil. For that public service alone, the Myron Ebell Climate thanks him.

So what's the state of the lies on this case? Apparently, publically owned lands in north America are terribly managed. Quite what this entails is hard to say. I don't think Myron knows himself. Maybe there are one too many park benches in the wrong place, or the roads don't get repaired fast enough to account for the damage caused by heavy SUVs, or the rangers sometimes forget to roll up the flagpoles at sunset.

What we want, says Myron and his friends, is to privatize them we can have well-managed strip-mines there instead. Sounds good? After all, who doesn't prefer good management over bad? You just have to not care to what purpose it is being managed!

But first, we have to manage the troublesome transfer of public property into those private hands. This is done on the open market. It's fair because anyone can stump up the money to buy it if they choose. Even the public, under the guise of environmental groups, can buy their own land back, if they think it's so valuable. If they really cared, they'd be able to come up with the money, wouldn't they?

Well, no.

The strip mining companies can always outbid private individuals' cash reserves because they can borrow from the banks in which those people have naively deposited their money. Corporate money, plus all that belonging to the people, is equal to more than what the people have, obviously, so they win. And why would the banks lend our money to a strip mining company rather than back to us at a fair rate? Why, for the return on investment, naturally. Money on loan -- ie money that doesn't belong to the person who uses it -- is far more readily available for strip mining than conservation purposes, because that money is got back. It is not an investment. It does not stay in the land. It's a Nigerian 419 scam that works.

As a supposed economist, Myron knows that money and property in the hands of corporations, and money and property in the hands of private individuals, are as different as cocaine and sugar, even though both are white powders that make you go zing.

As a bent lawyer, his job is to confound the two, and get his buddies past the police whilst writing the lies that the corporate owned newspapers are going to print.

Bring me this man's teeth and I'll throw them in the sewer.

Gallons of green ink

Myron Ebell has continued to tar and feather himself with his latest article in the venerable Human Sewage Online, The National Conservative Weakly.

I'm not going to grace it with a hyperlink to its front page, but besides Myron's pap on this website was the interesting article WMDs Found in Iraq posted Nov 9, 2005, more than a year after the final report by President Bush's hand-picked "Iraq Survey Group" had scoured that godforsaken land for 18 months looking for retrospective justification for the war, and concluded that no such evidence existed.

Good is evil, as the Conservative movement says. To lie is to do your job, self-evidently. There is a common connection between the Alaska and Iraq in that both have oil underneath the ground. And BP/Amoco has drilling rights in Alaska (Exxon names the tankers), so the de facto oil corporate spokesman Myron is pressing as much as he can for that to be exploited, and accusing senators, who don't hold his point of view, of being "anti-energy".

Myron then goes on to quote a poll saying that 35% of voters thought that energy and gas prices were the biggest economic issue facing the country.

Not only is this not true (oil dependence and climate change are the biggest economic issues), but there is not enough oil there to make a tangible difference to anything in America, except (a) the oil companies who will profit, and (b) the wildlife that will be slaughtered.

Myron never lets the facts get in the way of a complete lie. Luckily, he is increasingly limited to posting his crap on the internet where, as everyone knows, anything goes.

Myron's Sordid Response

I was disappointed to find that Myron Ebell was allowed to publish an article of lies in my favourite newspaper today. The newspaper has a policy that when a walking piece of congealed toxic sludge gets attacked in one of their in-house comment pieces, it has a right of response.

Unfortunately, the response is not subject to the same level of fact checking (which is good for Myron), and ought at the very least have a health warning on the page. Perhaps they should leave the words the same, but just print the lies in red ink.


So, here's my letter:


Dear editors:

The Competitive Enterprise Institute is a money-laundering operation for companies like Exxon to indirectly hire political spokesmen, because they know that direct spokesmen have no credibility. It would be helpful if the press did not assist in this plan to mislead the public.

There is ample written evidence of Myron Ebell's complicity with Phillip Cooney, a de facto employee of Exxon in the Bush administration, to get the Kyoto Treaty jettisoned in 2002.

Myron Ebell's other job is to rubbish all scientists whose work supports the hypothesis that there is a climate changing emergency that could be averted. He does this by claiming that most other experts don't believe it, which is untrue, and that anyone outside the direct narrow field of Arctic ice field study has an opinion no more valid his, which is also untrue. Mr Ebell holds a degree in economics. He has no education, expertise, curiosity, or colleagues involved in science whatsoever. He does what he's paid for.

Yours faithfully,

The Myron Ebell Climate